In our hearts and in our music...

(Note written yesterday August 30, 2011, after the passing of Dr. Virginia-Gene Rittenhouse)

My heart has been heavy today as I have tried to wrap my mind around the loss of a truly incredible lady. I say my heart, but really I think it’s all of me. There is so much to say; yet there are no words. I have just sat in silence and wept.

She was a legend, an inspiration, a rock. She was unique, feisty, and incredibly talented. She didn’t understand the meaning of “no”, this combined with her incredible vision, opened doors for remarkable opportunities and experiences.

A favorite memory is going to her house in Massachusetts and eating her famous apple crisp while she told stories of early ensemble escapades with Connie, Glee, Shawn, and others. Or how she tied with herself on violin and piano in a music competition when she was young. She would recount the stories with dramatic flourish, or wry humor. She never slowed down, she napped during concerts, on the bus, or while still standing, she was famous for calling people at 3 am, and was so determined in any pursuit that it was compelling.

I wish I could have known her better. I wish we could see the reach of the impact she has made on the world. I wish we didn’t have to say goodbyes. It is impossible to number the lives she has touched or to know just how much she has impacted mine.

My life would be very different if it were not for her. The places I have been, the people I know, the experiences I have had that would just not be if it weren’t for her.

As Dr. Bingham said in typical Australian fashion: “She broke the mold when she was born”. There will never be anyone like her again.

For those of us who knew her, we will never be the same. She has irrevocably altered our lives and in so doing left a legacy. I now have a huge network of ensemble family, many of whom I have not met, that I feel a connection to because of our shared or parallel experiences. She can never truly leave from among us because she is in each of us. She is in our memories, in our hearts, in our music.

She loved to quote Bach in saying that “Music is to be played to the glory of God and the refreshment of the spirit”. It amazed me how on tour I could be completely exhausted before the concert began, and then feel rejuvenated by the time it was through. It is amazing the way music transports and refreshes. Yet perhaps most beautiful was that driving her love of music was the mission—the greater impact she wanted to make on the world beyond those that could hear the music.

You gave your life and love, your spirit and energy, your all to the mission of music. You nurtured in me a love of music, a passion and purpose, a strength.

We miss you Dr. Rittenhouse more than you could know. Until we meet again at the biggest ever ensemble reunion…

The Brother

Siblings are our biggest fans, our greatest critics and our best friends. I am blessed to have three such best friends.

My brother was my first sibling—rather I was his, but in the history of me, this is how it is told. We became siblings together whereas the youngest sister to come along filled out the sibling unit and got three all at once.

Brothers are protectors, educators, and sages. Mine, was mostly my friend. We shared a room the first few years and had matching bedspreads. He taught me how to tie my shoes, whistle, and swing on the monkey bars.

Despite having the role of protector, my brother endangered my life on countless occasions as he sought to teach me about the world and life. We climbed trees, built dugout forts, blew things up, jumped ice floes in the river, climbed the sides of buildings to then jump off of them, and built what we then considered massive snowboard and sled jumps.

He was there to take me to drivers ed, and then college; we have traveled the world together and now we share an apartment. He is still there to share his wisdoms (whenever he is in the country). Being a frequent traveler, he has a lot to say on the subject—from what to wear, to what routings to take. One day he said I needed to dress up because people who look professional are more likely to get upgraded. The next time he told me to dress down because it was a holiday and everyone knows that only novices dress up on those days. He has opinions on baggage, what side of the plane to sit on, and what time of day to fly.

I will admit he does know what he is talking about. Between the amount he travels and his natural ability to talk his way through difficult situations he knows how to work the system. He gets free baggage, free upgrades, and frequent free tickets. We tease him that he is too spoiled to ever fly economy again with all the normal people like us. We say that he is super-elite-plus-premier-executive-star-platinum-special-dude.

The other day I was flying back to D.C. and he gave me a couple of his upgrades—allowing me to fly first class! He had done this for me once before a long time ago, but this time I got it. I got why he loves first class, I got how it can spoil you. I got it.

It is a completely different experience when you fly up there. As usual I was traveling with a lot of luggage. I had a display booth and a lot of other material with me amounting to 2 70lb bags and a heavy carry on. I breezed right up to the counter, the lady tagged my bags and cheerfully checked me in apologizing for the wait. She printed out my boarding passes and slid them into a gold envelope. I walked up to the gate and boarded before everyone else via the red carpet.

When I sat down in 2A, the flight attendant brought me a drink in a real glass and kept refilling it until I told him not to. Later they brought me a little bowl of roasted nuts, then dinner. First a cloth was draped over my tray table, then a tray of food was brought served on real dishes—a salad with a chilled salad fork wrapped in a cloth napkin!

I guess the fact that I was so mesmerized by everything is a testament to the fact that I am indeed a novice and wasn’t sure I really belonged in first class. I am used to barebones travel. I will sleep on the floor of an airport so that I don’t have to pay for a hotel, I will carry my luggage on so that I don’t have to pay baggage fees, I will bring a lunch so that I don’t have to spend money on airport food… As I stood up to walk the red carpet for my next flight, I identified with the guy sitting on the floor with his backpack eating dried fruit. I felt like a bit of an imposter walking the red carpet in sneakers and jeans. However, I think I could easily get used to this. This was just domestic; I think it’s the international flights—with the flat seats that really do you in.

I was the first one on and off the plane, I had no baggage fees, my luggage was already waiting for me when I got to baggage claim (with the priority tags, it doesn’t have to go through the conveyor like all the other luggage), they fed me, and the customer service was very attentive and accommodating. Plus you have a huge cushy seat and don’t have to share it with half the person next to you and you don’t have to fight for a place to put your carryon. What’s not to love?

What I realized though, is that it’s not just all the perks that come with first class, the people who fly first class are a different lot as well. There is a community among frequent fliers and they are jovial and interesting. The guys I was sitting next to said they were umpires and were very funny to talk to.

So here’s to you Peter-Michael: a terrific chef, logistician, and brother. We do spoil you rotten, but you deserve it. You are much loved.